I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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