Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My vagina is officially offended.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
