yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
