Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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