The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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