yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
please don't ironically join a cult
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