For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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