Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
