margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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