Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
