from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
