I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize