So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
