OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm always down for nudity.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
