obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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