is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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