awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
