the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
