Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
