i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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