Define "chronic" masturbator.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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