Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
