My nipple is on Facebook.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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