Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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