You work out of a Hotel?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
did i just pee glitter
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
