just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My Sexting was not on an AP level
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
