Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
