I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
