Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
