I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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