i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
