She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
