Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
