Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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