Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
