Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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