Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
