Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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