I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
