Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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