doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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