im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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