I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
