i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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