So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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