One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
