Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
