All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
