I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
