Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
