I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
