how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
